missionmightymom

As mentioned in an earlier post, I seem to have lost my mojo. My energy has escaped me and taken my patience hostage. Not ideal conditions in the world of Working Momma. But I think we have it figured out. I received a call from my doctor yesterday with results from my routine blood work and it seems as though my cholesterol level is alarmingly high (surprise-surprise) and my thyroid levels have once again sky-rocketed. Blah! Blah! Blah! The genetic lipid disorder that causes my high cholesterol levels has gone untreated for the past 4 years because I was busier with other things…you know, like making and growing babies. And it is not recommended that you take cholesterol lowering medications while doing any of the above.

It is always surprising to people that I have high cholesterol and a slow thyroid. “But your thin.” “You work out.” “You eat a healthy diet.” True. True. And True. Just goes to show that complete control is not ours to be had. For a split second after receiving the news, I was consumed by self-pity…for those very reasons. I do workout. I doeat healthy. And still I am destined to a lifetime of daily medication. One. Split. Second. And then I thought about punching myself in the face. There are Moms out there, some that I know personally, who are literally fighting for their lives, or even worse, fighting for their babyies’ lives ( I know some of them too).

While high cholesterol, especially cholesterol as high as mine (total 390, LDL 290) can be life threatening if untreated, possibly causing heart attack or stroke, it is very treatable, as is my elevated thyroid levels. Because I control the situation as much as I can with my exercise and diet, it is now time that I make the decision that is best for my family in the long run, and that is to stop nursing my Sweet Little Aniston so that I can gain control of the health issues at hand. While breastfeeding is something that I enjoy doing because it provides her with valuable nutrients and immunities as well as creating a very intimate bond, having a healthy Momma for years to come takes precedence.

First day of kindergarten. Baptism. First school dance. First kiss. First broken heart (I will kick someone’s butt). First day of college. Wedding. And watching my babies become Mommas. – All milestones in the lives of my girls. Milestones that I want nothing more than to be a part of.

Which is why today, while feeling a little defeated and a lot sleepy, I forced myself to the gym. For them. Because while I cannot control everything, I will do all that I possibly can to ensure that I will get to watch my babies grow.

Loving our children is not always about doing what is fun or easy. Its about doing what is in their best interest. Case in point: The most challenging thing for me as Momma to Harper and Aniston is disciplining them. It literally makes me sick to my stomach. By no means is disciplining my babies enjoyable, but it is a part of taking responsibility for the tiny humans that Aaron and I have created. Responsibility to raise them in the ways of the Lord. Teaching them to honor thy Father and thy Mother. To not lie. Or cheat. To raise them to be productive member of society.

So much like working out when its the last thing in the world I want to do, I also discipline (my husband would beg to differ)…because of love.