I Would Never…

Before I became a Mommy I judged…Mommies. Horrible I know. But because I have been there…judging…I hold no ill-will for those that now judge me. I get it! We, Mommies,  relentlessly shove pictures of our babies in your face, or take over you Facebook news feed. We talk about really inappropriate things at really inappropriate times. We bore you with our stories because we cannot imagine that our babies, our sweet, our funny, our smart, our entertaining babies aren’t nearly as entertaining to you. We are opinionated and passionate about weird things like diaper creams and organic milk. We incessantly complain about sleepless nights. We say nauseating things like, ‘Seeing her smile brings me to tears.’ Or, ‘Watching her sleep so peacefully brings me to tears. Or, ‘The smell of her baby skin…you guess it… ‘brings me to tears.’ It is so annoying how often we Mommies are brought to tears.

I get it! Three years ago I would have gotten on my own nerves. But now, I am a Mommy, and I am doing and saying and seeing things that sometimes make me laugh. One of my infamous quotes circa 2010, “I would never…

I wish I could go back and insert foot in mouth.

“I would never…”

  • forgo a date night for an 8:01pm bedtime
  • wear granny-panties
  • openly discuss bowel movements
  • wear “practical shoes”
  • love someone as much as I love my husband
  • love someone as much as I love my first baby
  • cry watching the news (everything is more personal when you are a Mommy)
  • pick boogers or wipe snot with my hands
  • plan my life around naptime/bedtime
  • forget to return a friend’s phone call
  • be that Mom

Until I became a Momma, I didn’t understand. I had no idea. I couldn’t believe that even those like me, the selfish ones, could be made selfless, and that wiping someone else’s butt would come so naturally. Or that if I had my choice to shop anywhere, I would choose The Children’s Place or Carter’s, because suddenly what I wear isn’t near as important as what they wear. I would have never imagined that my favorite past time would be playing dress-up, or that sleeping until 9:00am would be considered a luxury, or that planning a trip to Disney would once again, bring me to tears, or that I was even capable of producing so many happy tears.

I always said that being a Momma would not identify me as a person. I am proud to say that once again, I was wrong.

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