missionmightymom

Change.

I am a creature of habit. I get emotionally attached. I don’t like surprises. Having a routine doesn’t bore me, I actually prefer it. I am in my comfort zone. Have been for awhile. All of which makes change a very difficult process.

But, after literally years (told ya, comfort zone) of contemplating, agonizing, and praying, I recently found some nerve. After seven years of employment with the same company, last week I turned in my resignation and in just two short weeks I will be beginning a new chapter. Coming to this decision was far from easy. Seven years is a very long time. I wasn’t even engaged when I began my job. And now I am married with two beautiful babies. The people that I currently work with/for, have become like family. I will miss them terribly, but it has become increasingly obvious, that it is time for change. I am no longer learning, no longer growing, and as much as I fear change, I fear not making a difference. If I must be away from my girls, I must be doing something that I can be proud of, something that they would be proud of. It is for them that I am getting uncomfortable. It is for them that I am stepping off of that immaculately paved path.

I had doubts…fear. But it all happened so organically. It was easy…well, easier than I had imagined. Application, interview, second interview. It has all felt so natural. Or as natural as can be when you are sitting at a breakfast table, in one of the nicest restaurants in town, with four men you have only met once before, being peppered with questions, all while attempting to eat the fanciest egg omelet you’ve ever seen, because not eating such a fancy omelet would be rude, right?!

So, in two weeks I will be starting a new job. One of greater responsibility. A position that will not only utilize my skills and talents, but provide me the opportunity to grow them. A job that will both test me and reward me. Am I more nervous or excited? It’s a toss up.

Yesterday’s sermon, was just the confirmation that I needed that I have made the right decision for my family. Pastor Steve preached out of Matthew, the verses instructing us to use the talents that God has given us. This is why I have opted for change. It has absolutely nothing to do with money or rank. I choose change because I don’t want to be wasteful, and I don’t want to waste away knowing that I was capable of so much more.

The most gut wrenching fact about my move for change is that I will no longer work beside my dearest of dear friends, Ginger. 9 hours a day, 5 days a week, for seven years is an awful lot of time spent together. Our babies were born two days apart, which means that we were even on maternity leave together. Ginger is the most gracious of friends, forgiving and loyal, and everything good. I want to be like her when I grow up. Wink! Wink! She has been my counselor, my sounding board, my gym buddy, and she has talked me off of the ledge to many times to count. I joke, but it’s actually not a joke, that if you want to know anything about me…anything… the good, bad, and the ugly…ask G. If she doesn’t know, you may be out of luck.

I will cry next week. It’s inevitable. A) Because crying is what I do. and B) Because the thought of not seeing my friend everyday is painful. Sounds dramatic, huh? But it’s true. I have counted on her for seven years. I have rushed to the office to share with her my baby’s first word, the news of her first step. I say to my self all to often, “I can’t wait to tell G…” And it’s not that I think this is the end of our friendship…never! It’s scary because, well…it’s change.

To Change!