Am I A Bad Mom Because My Kids ARE The Center of My World

I’m that Mom.

The one so many others say that don’t want to be. “I don’t want to be that Mom!” I’ve heard it to many times to count. I’m okay with who I am. And I accept others for not wanting to be like me. It’s all good. Like my girl Miranda says, “It takes all kinds of kinds.” Ha.

I am also incapable of filtering myself (not necesarily a good thing). Which means that what you see is what you get. I would be a shameful phony if I tried to convince anyone that I was anything but obsessed with my girls. They are my pride and joy. They are my purpose in life. They are the blessings that still have me asking God, “Why me? What did I do to deserve them? How can I ever give enough back to the world to justify such a gift?”

I understand that this annoys some people. Again, I get it. I sometimes nauseate myself. But it’s all sincere. It’s who I am. And I’ve never been one to pretend to be something I’m not to get the popular vote. I want people to love me for Me, the real me, not whatever character I’m playing that day. And the real me lives in a world that is centered around two very sweet little girls, and their Daddy.

This is actually a benefit to my friends and family. I’m passionate about my relationships. I love hard! Always have. Always will. If we’re friends…you know this about me. I get mushy and sentimental….because I LOVE!

I had heard recently that Mommas like me, you know…that Mom…that we are being stereotyped as “Modern Parents” who raise selfish, self-indulging, helpless menaces to society, and I very kindly beg to differ…

My girls have never been on the toy isle of a store unless it was to pick out a gift for a friend…and they are the center of my world.

My girls have yet to drink a coke (even if they had asked)…and they are the center of my world.

99.5% of the clothes/shoes in my girls’ closets come from the resale store…and they are the center of my world.

My girls have a bedtime, 8PM, that we stick too, even on nights when they fight us tooth and nail…and they are the center of my world.

My girls get told “No!”, and they get spankings (Gasp!-not sure that’s anything Modern parenting recommends)…and they are the center of my world.

My girls say “Please” and “Thank You” and “Sir” and “Ma’am”…and they are the center of my world.

I meet girlfriends for dinner and go away on girls trips…and my girls are the center of my world.

My girls clean their rooms, they put their dishes in the sink (yes, even the 20 month old), and their trash where it belongs…and they are the center of my world.

My girls ARE the center of my world, which is why they are taught to be compassionate, and respectful, to problem solve, and to pray. I could easily indulge them every time they cried for another cookie, or asked to stay up after bedtime (trust me-it would be so much easier and would take much less effort on my part), but that would be doing them no favors. The most important job God has entrusted upon me is to raise two of His children, my Babes. And that job is more than full time. It takes all of me all of the time. It means maintaining a loving relationship with their Daddy. It means teaching them that although we are all different, we are all worthy of love. It means teaching them that money and things and the new it doll, will not buy them happiness.  It means considering them everytime I make a decision. And it means on occasion meeting a girlfriend for a glass of wine, because even though Mommy loves them more than anything, sometimes she deserves a break too. And a Mommy that is rested and happy and has friends, well…that Mommy is a better Mommy.

I understand that my girls will never be the center of anyone else’s universe (besides their Daddy’s), but that doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be the center of mine. No one in the world will ever love them as much as me.  Does that mean that I should reel in my love for them so that they don’t grow to expect that the rest of the world should love them the same??? Spoiled by love?! Ridiculous!

And while I don’t coddle them, I teach them that they’re “tuff”, that crying is never going to make candy magically appear, and that I am on Team Daddy when it comes to disciplining; I also want them to know that I am their biggest cheerleader, their sounding board. I don’t want my girls to ever feel so desperate, so under-valued, so invisible, so worthless, so afraid to tell me when their sad, that mere words from another could make them consider ending their life.

It’s no secret that my world revolves around Harper Reese and Aniston Paige. I take this Mommy-ing job serious. My girls are thriving, they are happy, and healthy, and smart. They share their last bite with each other and their toys with the less fortunate. They give hugs and kisses and they laugh…a lot! They love me and their Daddy and God.

I make many many mistakes as  a Mom. But I just don’t see how revolving my world around them is one of them.

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Comments
2 Responses to “Am I A Bad Mom Because My Kids ARE The Center of My World”
  1. Ginger says:

    Amen sista! I couldn’t have said it better so I won’t try. I think you are right 100%. Growing up, I never knew what I really wanted to be – other than a mommy. So why would I now try to pretend that it’s not my most important job? And the source of my joy. God gave me my little dude and I’m not going to take that lightly.
    Btw – welcome back! I’ve missed reading your “realness”. Love you friend!

  2. petucker1 says:

    Excellent! Wish more parents would parent and not try to be their childs best friend.

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