And Then There Were Five…

WOW! The last time I sat down to write, I was a Momma of two. Girls. And 100% certain that was my destiny. And then two weeks later my always wise husband had the greatest idea! “If that is the worst that can happen, (as he smiled a huge smile and pointed to our then two year old daughter as she played with a Barbie next to our kitchen table) we should do it again.” GASP! What?!

But we were done having babies. I had plead my case many times as to why we should have more and had finally accepted the fact that we were and always would be a family of four. We had “The Girls”. We couldn’t have been happier. And I was no spring chicken.

But, anyone who truly knows me knows that I have always dreamed of a large family. And I never would have imagined my life without a son. NEVER.

The decision was made.

April 9, 2015. We were pregnant!

The Girls were so excited. Harper prayed for a brother that we would name “Chuck”. Aniston wanted nothing more than another sister. Aaron and I probably gave politically correct answers, but we really, really wanted our boy.

It was lunch time in late July, 2015. I received “The Call”. As previously discussed with my doctor, I ignored it sending her directly to my voicemail.

There it was. A six second voicemail that would change our lives forever. I stared at my phone for the rest of the day. In six seconds…just six…I could know if we would be having another daughter or our first son. But I promised the family that we would listen to it together. As brutal as it was, I waited.

I am not known for my patience. And my attempt to corral the family as soon as we were home was made difficult by my disappearing husband-I literally chased him around the house. He was so nervous. “I can’t do it.” “I’m not ready.” Finally, it was time. We all sat together in our den, Aaron behind me (he didn’t want me watching his reaction). I turned on my speaker and pressed play. “Tessa, this is Dr. ______ nurse. You are having a boy.” Six seconds. A BOY.

I dropped the phone, and with my face in my hands I ugly cried. “We’re having a boy!” Harper was beside her self. “Mommy, my prayers came true. They came true, Mommy.” Aniston, bless her broken little heart! But fear not- she has since grown to love, LOVE her baby brother. And my sweet husband- He radiated joy. And then like the Super Star Daddy that he is, he comforted our “forever baby girl” as she too cried, but for the baby sister she so desperately wanted.

We decorated a room in shades of BLUE. We discussed names. Harper put up a good fight- but no, our son was not a “Chuck”. We debated names. We flat out fought about names. Really. So silly! We were showered with love and more of everything BLUE. I grew. I got big! And uncomfortable. We agreed on a name! HUDSON GRADY. We dreamed of him. And we thanked God for him.

Then, nine months ago today, I was rolled in to an operating room where we would welcome our third baby. Our first baby boy. I ugly cried again. Before meeting him. During. After- of course. First, second, third, it doesn’t matter- there is not a feeling in the world better than that when you hear that first cry and lock eyes with your child for the first time. What I wouldn’t give to have that bottled up so that I could relive it every single day for the rest of my life.

Hudson Grady Barnett was perfect. And big. 8lb15oz- twice the size of our first baby. He had dark hair and powerful lungs and was everything I had ever dreamt about and more. There has got to be a word bigger, better, more intense  for the way a Momma loves her baby.

And here we are today. BLESSED. So very blessed. And so very much in love. Aaron and I still have moments of disbelief. This is our life? These are our babies? This is our family? It is all so sweet.

We have settled in nicely to being a family of five. The Big Sisters are incredibly helpful. Baby Brother is the happiest of babies. Life can be chaotic, sometimes loud, sometimes so loud that I retreat to my room for a moment of silence, but those of you that know me also know that I don’t do well with downtime- so the crazy busy life suits me well. And loving my babies is who I am.

And now I get to love THREE.


 Our newest addition- Hudson Grady Barnett


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