Monday’s Mission: Not So Transparent

Ever wonder what I’m thinking? Feeling? Just look at me. I have the inability to hide my feelings and emotions. I lack a filter. I am beyond transparent. So if I seem happy, that’s because I am! The down side to that is that when I’m not happy, it too is blaringly obvious.

Good? Bad? Or both?

Our Sunday school leader told a story last week about the one thing he despised about his now wife when they first started dating. He was strongly advised against proceeding with the story for the sake of his marriage (haha), but against better judgement, he continued. Apparently his wife and I have a lot in common. His chief complaint was her refusal to pretend. For instance, they had an argument on the way to church, he expected that once they were in the presence of others, she would paint on a smile, put on a show, and convince everyone that they were blissfully happy. He was wrong. And this drove him crazy. Over the years though, he says that he has learned to love her “honesty.” It forces him to be a better husband, a better father, because his failures will be obvious through the eyes of his wife.

My first reaction? “Yes! See, I’m just honest.

But this isn’t the entire truth. I am also selfish. Even in unhappy times, a selfless person will smile for the sake of those around them.  There is a time and a place for everything.

My mission is not to be fake or phony. My mission is to be appropriate. If I am upset with one of the girls’ teachers, or if I stump by toe, or I just wake up on the wrong side of the bed, my co-workers shouldn’t have to suffer, my husband shouldn’t have to suffer…Working on being less transparent.

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